Telephone Bill
>
> The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a
> family meeting...
>
> Dad: People this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone.
I do not use this phone; I use the one at the office.
>
> Mum: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work
telephone
>
> Son: Me too, I never use the home phone. I always use my company mobile
>
> Maid: So what is the problem? We all use our work telephones
>
> ***************
>
> Prospective Employer to Applicant: 'So why did you leave your
> previous job?'
> Applicant: 'The company relocated and they did not tell me where!'
>
> ***************
>
>
> Wife: ' Sir, I would like to call on my husband who left me and brought
> all our five kids with him.'
> Radio Host: ' Ok, go ahead!'
> Wife: ' Sweetheart, please return back all the kids, actually only one of
> them is yours.'
>
> ***************
>
> Hello! I'm here again. My mind is all muddled up. I just want to ask
> something. I know that you will be able to help me out.
> Is BIRDS FLU the past tense of BIRDS FLY?
>
> ***************
>
> You were riding a bus, when you suddenly fart. Luckily the music is very
> loud. Every time you farted, you timed it with the music. When you were
> going down the bus, everybody were throwing dagger looks at you, and you
> suddenly realized . . . .. that you have your MP3 player on your ears !
>
> ***************
>
> WIFE: It's a miracle! You came home early.
> HUSBAND: I just obeyed what my boss told me to do. He said: 'GO TO
> HELL', that's why I came home early.
>
> ***************
>
> John: It's my wife's birthday
> Peter: What's your gift to her?
> John: I asked her what she wanted
> Peter: What did she said?
> John: Anything, as long as there is a DIAMOND.
> Peter: What did you give her?
> John: playing cards
>
> ***************
>
> Teacher: We are descendants of Adam and Eve!
> Student: That's not true! My dad said we are descendants of an Ape!
> Teacher: We are not talking about your FAMILY!
>
> ***************
>
> Sodium Chloride / Talcum powder
>
> This incident happened on the air....
>
> Yasmin Yusof, a DJ on Radio 4 asked listeners on her radio program to
> call to answer trivia questions. The first caller to give the correct
> answer would get a prize from the sponsor.
>
> She asked: "Can anyone out there tell me the household name of Sodium
Chloride"
>
> A caller who is a housewife called up eager to answer the question.
> Not knowing the answer to the question, she asked Yasmin for a clue.
> "Something you put on your husbands eggs in the morning." she said.
> The lady confidently said : "Talcum powder".
>
> Yasmin Yusof did not return to the air until after a few songs!
>
>
> ***************
>
> Mini Malaysian Made Car
>
> Have you seen the Made-in-Malaysia car "Kancil"?
> You know, that very little 600 cc car ???
>
> Well, Dr ? really wanted to sell it to the US, so when Dr ? paid a visit
to the White House after finishing formal discussions with George Bush, Dr ?
> checks with Bush to find out if there is a way to sell the Kancil in the
USA.
>
> After having looked at the brochure, Bush said, "You know, I think
> This 'Kernchill' is too small for us Americans."
>
> Not one who gives up easily, Dr ? persisted and finally Bush offered,
> "Ok, take this number down. This guy is my good buddy and he's also
> the CEO of the biggest compact car distributor in North America".
>
> Dr ? was satisfied with the meeting and returns to Malaysia.
>
> The next day he called the number and a lady answered, "TOYS R US",
> Can I help you"
>
>
> ***************
>
> After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization", a student
> goes and confronts his lecturer about it.
>
> Student : "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"
>
> Professor : "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"
>
> Student : "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can
> give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. However,
> if you do not know the answer, I want you give me an "A" for the exam."
>
> Professor : "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"
>
> Student : "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and
> neither logical, nor legal?"
>
> Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the
> student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as
> agreed.
>
> Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same
> question.
>
> He immediately answers : "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35
> year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year
> old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given
> your wife's lover an "A", although he really should have failed, is
> neither legal, nor logical."
Support us by making a link back to this post or simply bookmark this post for us. |
0 comments on "Jokes of the week"
Subscribe in a Reader
Post a Comment