Funny Marriage

Wife: "What are you doing?"

Husband : Nothing.

Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."

Husband : "I was looking for the expiry date."

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Wife : "Do you want dinner?"

Husband : "Sure! What are my choices?"

Wife : "Yes or no."

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Wife: "You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?"

Hubby: "When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears."

Wife: "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"

Hubby: "Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?"

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Stress Reliever Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden."

Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."

Girl: "Well that's because we aren't married yet."

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Son: " Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady."

Mom: "Well, you have done the right thing."

Son: "But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap."

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A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"

"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!"

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Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever

The guy replies: "Thanks for the early warning."

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A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor!"
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Funny chinaman and malay

A Chinaman and a Malay were having a conversation
recently.

Apek: Lu potong zaka ada bagut ka?

Ali: Manyak bagus. Bila lu potong haa, lu punya barang manyak bersih loo...

Apek: err ... saya kawan ala cakap, potong zaka aaahh.... manyak ploblem..

Ali: Apa problem?

Apek: Manyak buang lui, lagi aahh ... dia punya performance tadak bagut...
manyak cinang semputloh ...

Ali: Cehh... apek, lu apa cerita... saya suda lama potong.
tada apa problem... bini saya manyak puas woo...

Apek: Lu mini puas sama itu potong zaka ka?

Ali: Ya laa. Bila lu potong aahh... lagi sedap main woo..
lu lagi lambat pancut..

Apek: err... lu punya 1.3 atau 1.5??

Ali: woi apek cakap baik2 sikit ha ... saya punya 6 inci laa..

Apek: Tiu nia ma... lu jangan main2 haa... mana ada potong zaka 6 inci..

Ali: Cilaka apek ni...nah tengok (opens his trousers)

Apek: Chee sin punya olang.....gua tanya baik2 ... lu tunjuk lu punya
lanjiao..

Ali: Abis... lu tada percaya..saya tunjuk la..

Apek: Saya tadak tanya sama lu punya lanchiau... Saya tanya lu pasal itu nasional car... potong zaka.. bolo punya olang..

Ali: Aiya... apek... lain kali lu sebut betul2 la....kasi susa saja..
Bukan potong zaka la..... proton saga baru gam........
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short funny conversation

funny conversation here, have fun reading~

Condom says to Kotex,
"When you work, I lose seven days of business."
Kotex replies, "If you fail to work once, my business stops for nine months

A camel and an elephant met, and the elephant asked: "Why do you have your tits on your back?"
The camel responded: "What a silly question from someone who has a dick on his face!"

Wife: "I wish I were a newspaper, so you can hold me every morning!"
Husband: "I wish you're a newspaper TOO, my dear so
I can have a NEW ONE every morning!

A Chinese couple got married. When baby was born, her eyes were big and blue, hair was curly and blonde, skin was brown.
Finally, name of the baby was SAM TING LONG ("some thing wrong")

A lady visited her doctor one morning.

Doc said: "You look so weak and exhausted! Are you eating your meals 3 times a day as I advised?
Lady : "Doc, I thought you said 3 males a day!"

Phone rings and maid picks up the phone as her master is bathing.....
When the caller asked what's he doing, the maid Replied: "MASTURBATING."(master bathing)
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